{"componentChunkName":"component---src-templates-post-js","path":"/blog/validation/","result":{"data":{"mdx":{"body":"function _extends() { _extends = Object.assign || function (target) { for (var i = 1; i < arguments.length; i++) { var source = arguments[i]; for (var key in source) { if (Object.prototype.hasOwnProperty.call(source, key)) { target[key] = source[key]; } } } return target; }; return _extends.apply(this, arguments); }\n\nfunction _objectWithoutProperties(source, excluded) { if (source == null) return {}; var target = _objectWithoutPropertiesLoose(source, excluded); var key, i; if (Object.getOwnPropertySymbols) { var sourceSymbolKeys = Object.getOwnPropertySymbols(source); for (i = 0; i < sourceSymbolKeys.length; i++) { key = sourceSymbolKeys[i]; if (excluded.indexOf(key) >= 0) continue; if (!Object.prototype.propertyIsEnumerable.call(source, key)) continue; target[key] = source[key]; } } return target; }\n\nfunction _objectWithoutPropertiesLoose(source, excluded) { if (source == null) return {}; var target = {}; var sourceKeys = Object.keys(source); var key, i; for (i = 0; i < sourceKeys.length; i++) { key = sourceKeys[i]; if (excluded.indexOf(key) >= 0) continue; target[key] = source[key]; } return target; }\n\n/* @jsx mdx */\nvar _frontmatter = {\n  \"title\": \"Validation\",\n  \"date\": \"2020-01-09T00:00:00.000Z\",\n  \"banner\": \"banner.png\",\n  \"tags\": [\"30-lessons\"]\n};\n\nvar makeShortcode = function makeShortcode(name) {\n  return function MDXDefaultShortcode(props) {\n    console.warn(\"Component \" + name + \" was not imported, exported, or provided by MDXProvider as global scope\");\n    return mdx(\"div\", props);\n  };\n};\n\nvar layoutProps = {\n  _frontmatter: _frontmatter\n};\nvar MDXLayout = \"wrapper\";\nreturn function MDXContent(_ref) {\n  var components = _ref.components,\n      props = _objectWithoutProperties(_ref, [\"components\"]);\n\n  return mdx(MDXLayout, _extends({}, layoutProps, props, {\n    components: components,\n    mdxType: \"MDXLayout\"\n  }), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I recently read\\n\", mdx(\"a\", _extends({\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, {\n    \"href\": \"https://www.amazon.com/Hear-You-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-Relationships-ebook/dp/B071K4MWMK\"\n  }), \"\\u201CI Hear You\\u201D\"), \"\\nby Michael S. Sorensen. The book discusses the act of validating someone else\\u2019s\\nemotions. That is, acknowledging how they feel and not trying to tell them to\\nfeel a different way, or present them with a solution to their problem \\u2014 just\\nvalidating they have those emotions.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This is \", mdx(\"strong\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"strong\"\n  }, \"really\")), \" powerful.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"In the book, Michael explains that validation has two main elements:\"), mdx(\"ol\", null, mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ol\"\n  }, \"It \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"li\"\n  }, \"acknowledges\"), \" a specific emotion.\"), mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ol\"\n  }, \"It offers \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"li\"\n  }, \"justification\"), \" for feeling that emotion.\")), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I have started doing this more in conversations, and it has significantly\\nimproved my conversations and relationships with other people. For instance, my\\nwife and I both read the book, and it's helped our communication a lot. Instead\\nof trying to tell each other not to feel a certain way, we just acknowledge one\\nanother's emotions.\"), mdx(\"blockquote\", null, mdx(\"p\", {\n    parentName: \"blockquote\"\n  }, \"The truth is there\\u2019s nothing inherently good or bad about any emotion.\\nEmotions just are. They\\u2019re simply reactions to a situation. \", mdx(\"cite\", null, \"Michael S.\\nSorensen\"))), mdx(\"p\", null, \"One of the biggest learnings I had is to not try and immediately solve a problem\\nfor someone else. Frequently, someone will come to you with a problem \\u2014 and\\nwhile you may \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"think\"), \" they need your help solving it \\u2014 they already know what to\\ndo. They're just looking for someone to validate that they are experiencing\\nthese emotions. \\\"I Hear You\\\" is based on that premise, and it's quite powerful.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Next time someone comes to you, try telling them \\\"That sucks.\\\" and \\\"What are you\\ngoing to do about it?\\\" \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"before\"), \" you try and give them a solution. You will be\\namazed at how differently people will respond. They will offer more context,\\nopen up, and will feel heard and validated. And that's a huge component to\\nbuilding great relationships.\"), mdx(\"blockquote\", null, mdx(\"p\", {\n    parentName: \"blockquote\"\n  }, \"When we sympathize, we feel for someone because of his or her pain. When we\\nempathize, we feel the pain with them. \", mdx(\"cite\", null, \"Michael S. 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